Found!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

1:30 PM

Counseling Notes

The client has recently been "missing in action," or "MIA," as it has been termed, from her regular blogging antics. She appears to have developed a recent compulsion for home shopping, single-handedly moving large furniture back and forth, watching and re-watching mundane television programs, and eating obscene amounts of sugar-filled delights. Consumed by a somewhat new-found calling for decorating, she finds herself deliberating between the fresh appeal of the color "tangerine" and the soothing essence evoked by "apricot" (but then quickly loses focus and hunts for a snack). Unable to visualize in her head the layout and coordination of items, she splurges on unnecessary accessories in multiples colors and sizes at every local store within reasonable driving distance. Upon returning home, she piles her treasures up in the center of whatever room she is currently decorating, moves them around for several hours, formulates new ideas, heads out the next day to buy more, and then eventually returns nearly all purchased items, as she has changed her mind altogether.

The client also complains of physical and mental exhaustion. Pressed for more details, she provided her daily schedule: Upon waking up somewhere between nine and eleven o'clock, she enjoys a cup of coffee, consumes a healthy dosage of important updates from her favorite reputable website, www.people.com, and then heads out for an afternoon of shopping, swimming, reading, or chatting. She then returns to do some heavy cleaning (upwards of 15 minutes) and settles in for the evening with a bowl of cereal and whatever television programs might be airing. She repeats this the next day, sometimes adding in a leisurely stroll about the neighborhood if feeling particularly energized. Overall, the client reports feeling that she is overexerting herself and might need to cut out one or two activities in her packed day.

At my urging, the client promises to try to slowly return to her normal routine, including blogging on a somewhat regular basis, exercising, eating a vegetable now and then, doing schoolwork, and waking and sleeping at socially acceptable hours, as this might help her ease back into a healthier way of living. Updates to follow.

Care Bears and Booger Books

Apparently my husband was none too pleased with the meticulous grocery list I left for him tonight:


milk
lunch stuff
fruit
dinner stuff


What? It encompasses everything we need. He feels strongly, however, that he is unable to enter a supermarket in earnest unless I have crafted him a detailed list of desired merchandise. Tonight my list wasn't cutting it.


I must remove my head from my butt and focus on something other than work. Like eating, and housework, and heaven forbid, fun activity. I seem to expel all my energy at school, getting to school, staying after school, and then thinking about school when I get home. Healthy, I know. It's that whole building the plane while you're already flying it thing....I'm trying to set up my office, figure out what I'm doing, plan my program, and meet the needs of all the kids. And I'm overwhelmed.


BUT...the kids are so darn adorable and loving that it truly puts a big ole goofy grin on my face every day :)


P.S. Thanks loyal reader, for sticking with me despite the hiatus and uber boring posts.

Star Struck

So the whole way home today I was craving, and I mean craving, pickles and oranges. Bizarre, right? And no, I’m not, to my knowledge anyway, pregnant. NEway…

Thanks to our awesome friends who shared their tickets with us, this past weekend we went to the national golf tournament hosted by Tiger Woods. It was a beautiful day and a lovely golf course. We were so excited to see Tiger Woods in action and to greet him up close. As he walked right past us at the 10th hole, however, I promptly leaned over and threw up.

We're sitting right up against the roped off course watching him tee off. I'm chugging a red Gatorade because it is so darn hot outside, but I get overzealous and accidentally dump half the bottle down my throat. Trigger gag reflex. My husband, blissfully oblivious to the fact that I'm barfing Gatorade all over my new white pants, starts smacking my shoulder, telling me to pay attention because Tiger is about to walk right in front of us. I am distracted, however, by the current yakking and subsequent ruining of my pants that I’m not at all aware, nor do I particularly care, that Tiger stands within 5 feet of us. Yep.

Does this story surprise you or seem out of character for me? Sadly, it seems to be par for the course of my life (ha!)

I recounted this at work today, and my coworker Rebecca quickly sympathized, saying something along the lines of "I found myself in a similar situation a few years back. When I saw Tiger Woods in person, I had poo squished between my toes." How unfortunate. Cue the obvious questions on my part (Poo? Whose poo?).

Well, that about covers it.

Challah Back Y'all

Today is the anniversary of the day I was expelled from my mother's womb, according to the heartfelt birthday card Tyler sent me. I'll be ringing in another glorious year of newfound stretch marks and wrinkles by attending a Kenny Chesney concert. Yes, despite popular belief, some Jews do like country music. And do wear plaid (all right, maybe that one's all me). And tonight we will be representing Jewish country fans across America (the other five are busy breaking bread with their ma and pa over Shabbat dinner).  Can't wait.

Oh and I graduated last weekend. Woo! Here is my favorite photo from the glorious weekend of events. This was taken, supposedly of me, during the ceremony's processional. But what I want to know is who is THAT guy? And why is he posing? Oh boy. 

The Half Worchester

I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but I still keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.

-David Sedaris

Juuust kidding. I like you all quite well just as you are. 

I'm taking a break from attempting to do country line dancing in my living room to play with the squishy green calculator Ray gave me. Pug has retreated to another room in fear. But he bought Kenny Chesney tickets for my birthday, yippee!

How the Ford Flex Saved Detroit

During a professional development seminar today I accidentally dropped my shoe into the toilet. There was no toilet paper left in the stall or paper towels in the bathroom, so I couldn't dry it off. So I squished back into the meeting, squirting toilet water out the sides of my shoe onto my nice dress pants with each step.  Then my toes went numb from the cold, wet shoe.  Then I ate lunch.  

Priorities

My first thought when I woke up today was not about school or work or personal safety out on the roads.  It was "Oh crap, will they cancel the dance class?"  I've looked forward to it for days, and I had to get there!  Neither our walkways nor the roads in our apartment complex have been plowed, so skating to my car was the only option.  The parking lot was literally sheets of layered ice.  But I was called by a greater force to pick, jab, carve, and scrape until my car was unearthed from its icy lair.  I thought I might die as I slid around the road trying to get out of the neighborhood, but I assured myself that the risk was well worth the reward.  Arriving at the gym to see a full parking lot was like a beacon of white light amidst this gray, monstrous weather. All the other shopping center parking lots were nearly empty, but no, not the gym.  Oh no, we will persevere! We will get those rock hard abs, come hell or . . . icy weather?  I'm an idiot. (but the dance class was awesome)

I know the minute I get into the shower, the cable guy will finally arrive.  Isn't that how it works?  You give up waiting, move on with your day, and then there he is at the door, and well, there you are, dressed in your birthday best.  Oh well. 

Blue and Yellow Like Sprite

Today my internship supervisor taught me the art of eating M&Ms in the proper order. Leave at least one color of each for last.  Eat two at a time, and only consume color combinations that feel "right" at the time. I'm clearly learning a lot. 

Haha, nah, things are grand. It is fun to be placed with someone with a similar sense of humor who loves his job but who, like me, doesn't take himself too seriously.  I'm learning a ton every day, getting un-shy, and having fun. It's hard to be observed every day, but I'm getting used to it.  But having to wake up and function at 5:30 in the morning is causing my precious few brain cells to fizzle out prematurely, I'm convinced. I'm worthless past 8 o'clock at night and consequently just sit here and write blog entries instead of being productive. Oh lord. 

I am so so so antsy to go to the beach. No shoes, no shirt, no problems.  Can't wait! Poor ghostly pale skin. I'll have to get a spray tan while I'm down there so that when I get back everyone can be jealous.  And I'll of course casually act like I didn't notice I'd gotten any color. It's gotta look like the real deal. 

So my invitation to the inaugural ball must have gotten lost in the mail. All dressed up and nowhere to go.  Geez, Obama, is that how you repay me for all my brilliant strategic advice on improving U.S.'s delicate foreign relation policy with Laos? You can forget about your promised invite to our next Big Lebowski costume party. 

Ok, that's all. 

Scatterbrain

The Hanukkah card I sent to Bec a few days ago came back to me in the mail today.  Apparently I'd forgotten to write both her state and the zip code.  

But she conveniently came to visit tonight, so I had the pleasure of hand delivering it (although I demanded my stamp back). It is lovely to get to spend the holiday with her and B and to introduce them to the tasty yumminess of Berger cookies. Mmmm. I am looking forward to celebrating B's bday tomorrow over Afghani delights and drinks downtown.  It's fun to have visitors!

Whoa, look at me blogging twice in one day. Don't worry--it shalln't happen again.

Just Dance

I'm in the market for a vacuum cleaner. And I'm nervous. I'm in way over my head. If you know me then you'll understand why. All these after-xmas-sales, and I'm just plumb overwhelmed by choices. Boo, wish I was shopping for something more exciting. Like a house.

I've spent the last two days cleaning up our office. I get obsessive about getting organized before I start a new semester at school, although once the semester kicks off, I retreat to the comfort of my shamelessly slobbish ways.  I've always been a self-proclaimed packrat (runs in the family), but yesterday I had to stop and question my mental processing mechanism for having instructed me to hold onto some of the things I found. Three-inch frayed ribbons, broken pencils, ripped folders (nothing that tape can't fix!), calendars from 2005.  Pug has learned that while cleaning, he can turn to me and ask, "Can you make use out of this (cracked paperweight) one day?" and I'll almost definitively say yes to anything offered up my way.  It might be an illness.

Whoops, time to go watch the The View at the gym. I'm back on the Put-Down-the-Donut-Diet. So far, not working.

 

Getting Un-stuck

My crazy desire to try to fit into small spaces...this is sure to end badly one day.  I'll get my head stuck in the banister of a staircase and linger there for hours until my husband stops laughing and agrees to soap up my head and push me back out. 

A new wave of goofiness has ushered itself into my life. So the blogging shall resume.  

For Clare!

Because Jenny needs to be entertained, I will admit that at the gas station the other night, I pulled up and tried repeatedly to swipe my credit card in the little opening of my gas tank. Talk about trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It was one of those "Ohhhhhhh...that doesn't go in there.....huh, I really just did that...and I'm an idiot" kind of moments.  Okey dok, just fill up as quickly as possible and go straight home--someone's tired.

Maybe gas prices (or fumes) rendered me temporarily delusional. Oh well.

Kumbaya

All hell seems to have broken loose round here. I fell asleep with Pug's red bowling ball beside me in bed the other night and didn't even notice. Which begs the question of why it was left there in the first place, but I didn't bother asking. Things are so hectic, and I'm always either at school, working, studying for something or other, writing a paper, or sleeping, so who has time to clean up anything around the house? Ok fine, and I'm lazy. All I want to do is go to the pool. I'm counting down the days (15) til classes are over. Can't wait to go to Portsmouth to see Bec and go to the beach next week! Yay for a little freedom!

I can't stop talking about going camping, seriously! I have a bug up my butt (haha, not literally this time!) and really, really want to go this summer. I have zero camping gear and no money to go buy some, so if anyone has a tent they could lend me, please let me know! 

it's just . . .

Only at our apartment would I trip and fall over a red bowling ball left absentmindedly next to the bed.  Yes, it's time to clean up.  

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind (but a good, cleansing sort of twister) of finishing school, celebrating milestones, laughing crazily with good friends, and traveling to new places to visit those I love.  (Ohio was much cooler than I'd imagined, I must admit.)  Geez, and I thought my month off  school was going to be quiet.   But I wouldn't have it any other way.  

A Real Brainiac

I'm not one for getting in the car and driving 100 feet if I can go on foot.  Unless I'm carrying a refrigerator, I'm just not a fan of getting back in the car and driving four stores down in a strip mall.    

Today I needed groceries and gas for my car.  So I came out of the supermarket, put the groceries in the car, and thought, "Heck, the gas station's only across the parking lot, I'll walk."  So I did.

Only once I was milling around the gas pumps did I realize that this idea wasn't my best.  So I walked back.  

de de dee

So happy that spring is almost here!  Last weekend's weather down in Virginia was such a tease! We were on the beach in 70 degree weather, and people were out in bikinis!! Bec, I think I might be moving down.  And I'll befriend that old guy we met at the park, who you refused to invite with us to dinner.  Cold heart. :)

I'm excited for April--so many fun things coming up and so many people to see!  And it'll be nice to go home, since we haven't been there in months.  Can't wait to take a nice long walk in Tyler with my parents--I miss the familiarity and comfort of it.

This semester has been so much work but so much fun.  Who knew I'd enjoy working with little kids so much?  Gosh, I just light up every time I'm there!  As usual, just when I think I've made up my mind, everything turns on its head. What an amazing experience!  

Hurry Up and Bring Your JukeBox Money

Last night was glorious.  Pug got drunk and did Spanish karaoke at a Peruvian restaurant.  Well, okay fine, he didn't sing in Spanish (because he can't), because the guy had some songs available in English.  We were the only native English speakers in the place.  Pug got up there and gave a less then mediocre rendition of Love Shack, which he coupled with some equally abysmal dancing for our visual (dis)pleasure.  Part of me thought, oh lord, make this song end now, right now.   And the other part wanted the hilarity to last forever.  Our waitress was beside herself laughing.  To complete the picture, the CD was scratched, so it kept skipping and making all of these ear piercing squeaks and shrieks periodically throughout the song.  Pug didn't even notice.  Nor did he notice that although he was singing the right words, he was singing them at the wrong time and in the wrong key.  It was grand.  

Happy Hanukkah!

Our New Menorah


Happy Hanukkah to those who celebrate! It's awfully early this year, but this freezing weather and yesterday's dumping of snow sure made it feel more like holiday time. Happy, healthy, and bright holiday season to all!

Excited to go home this weekend!! One more final paper to write, two exams, and then I'm done for a month. Woohoo!

hmmm

going. . . . .



going. . . . .



gone.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I'm so antsyyyyyyyyyyyyy. I can't sit still. Dragged poor hubby with me out in the cold air tonight cuz I needed to walk off my energy. For a long time. He finally made me quit and go back inside once our faces had completely frozen over.

I sat in one place w/o a break for five hours this afternoon working away at an oh-so-tedious last minute task that was due at COB. I had tunnel vision, going through documents trying to reconcile data for a report, and I wouldn't get up til it was all exactly in order. Perfectionist much? Not about most things, but I do get in moods.

So now all I want to do is run around outside!!!

That's all.