Monday, June 29, 2009



and waiting for it begin.

it's a calling, i think, in it's own least that is how it seems. a career in which i believe i might find true satisfaction.

we'll see :)

Thursday, June 4, 2009

I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me.

Sometimes I feel really disheartened by the way some people treat one another in DC, particularly those with whom I come in contact using public transportation.  Today a woman came out of the metro and starting yelling, "Tell them to hold the bus! Hold the bus!" as she hurried as fast as she could toward it. Yes, it was loud and a tad annoying for those of us around her, but she was clearly in a hurry. She seemed to have some sort of physical disability because her legs didn't bend much as she walked. She was trying to run, without much luck, toward the bus. The man walking in front of me, who weighed 400+ pounds and was using a cane to steady himself as he hobbled along, yelled at her, "Geez, get steppin, lady. For someone who wants to get that bus, you're sure not trying!" 

Was that really necessary? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. If the tables were turned, I doubt anyone would yell at him if he were trying his best to get somewhere quickly. Or, sadly, maybe they would. 

I think that is what happens when people turn their own dissatisfaction and misery outward, or maybe when we're conditioned to treat one another like objects to be maneuvered or manipulated on our way to and from work, instead of as people with lives, families, feelings. I'm honestly no different (except the rude part, which I am not). I avoid conversation because I'm so, so tired all the time, and it's just easier to shut myself off and read or listen to music or just think. The stimulation in the metro system is overwhelming. So I retreat into myself. It's just easier.